Change as a Verb

I took the day off today to watch the live coverage of the presidential inauguration. More than simply witnessing history in the making, I wanted to be inspired, to be moved, to be changed, but I realized one thing: that change as a noun requires change as a verb. In order for change to happen, one must take action.

I remembered 2005 and how I bought a plane ticket, packed my bags, and went to the Philippines. No excuses, no dillydallying, no second guessing, no fear. Nike would've been proud of me for living its mantra of "Just do it."

When finding a job there took longer than usual, I didn't give up. Determined by God knows what, I just kept trying and trying until I finally succeeded. Maybe I was out to prove everyone wrong or maybe it was my being stubborn, but in the end, I was a better person because of all of it. And personally, I proved to myself that taking the road less traveled definitely made all the difference.

So fast forward to 2009: I hate my job and getting out of it is proving harder than usual. I can blame it on the economy, but I'm blaming myself. Where is that determined, no-fear-but-fear-itself-thinking girl from 2005? I know that I'm currently not her because whenever I read job postings, I can hear myself thinking, "No, you can't do that." Or I'm simply *thinking* about better things and not going after them with gusto as I had done before. My gosh, I am soooo better than this.

Dear self, may you be inspired, may you find that person you once were, and may you take the necessary actions to find the change you wish to see in the world.