Frustrated

I didn't have a very good day at capoeira today. I was a frustrated little girl. What I want is basically for someone to hold my hand, babysit me, and show me the sequences slowly so that I can pick them up. Unfortunately, my instructor is not that person, eventhough I would like for him to be that way. Ugh! I also think that I need to work on my endurance, so hopefully, I can get myself to go back to my 6 a.m. walks starting tomorrow.

But I am keeping things in perspective. Before class, since I was the only one there, The Instructor and I had a little getting-to-know-you session. Since, I'm not really the type of person to ask for personal information (I would rather have the other person volunteer that information), I basically got interviewed by him. In the process, I realized that a guy is a smooth talker if he asks me if I'm 35 years old. The whole world knows that I don't look 35, so he was just trying to get on my good side for sure. And yes, he did. LoL. In addition, you know how women don't reveal their age? Well, who knew I was capable of doing such a thing? I didn't mean to, but it turned out that way. It also turns out that he's had a pinay gf before. Yiheeee! LoL. Then, during our stretches, he did his share to help me with my flexibility. Since my site has always been (and will always be!) PG-13, I won't get into the details at all. LoL. I'll just say that touching amongst adults is a very, very beautiful thing. LoL. ::throwing some cold water at myself:: HaHa!

Vancouver

I went to Vancouver today with the sister-in-law and Ganda Girl.

Before going anywhere, I realized though that it would really be nice to have a boyfriend right now. LoL. The Brother was harping on me again about not maintaining my car correctly. Well, hello?! No one bothered to teach me these things. All I know is that I need to get the oil changed every three months and to make sure the tires are inflated well. His reply to me? "You have a manual, don't you?" Ugh! In addition to wanting my boyfriend to be a personal trainer and baskeball player (I've always wanted to learn how to shoot a 3-pointer; don't ask. HeHe.), I would like for him to be an expert at cars also so that I can shut my brother up when he starts going off about things that I don't know about.

Anyway, I don't think I set any records today as far as making it to the border. Remember that my current record is 1 hour and 50 minutes. Since Ganda Girl was in the car (and it's the end of the month were the cops are out and about), I drove more sanely this time around. HeHe.

We basically just went to Galing-Galing, Goldilocks, and Chinatown. To whoever said hi to me at the parking lot of Goldilocks, sorry I was deadma and didn't even bother to look at your face. =)

While at Chinatown, I bought My Sassy Girl, My Tutor Friend, and Asako in Ruby Shoes, all of which are Korean movies. Geez, just when I have finally expanded my Mandarin phrases, I have moved on to Korean movies. The thanks go to Pen as usual. LoL. You gotta admit though that the Korean guys look less metro than the Taiwanese guys I've grown to love so it was slightly inevitable. ;P I was hoping to find Il Mare, but didn't since the salesclerks were being shady and wouldn't tell me where I could find a Korean DVD store. I might have to go eBay on this one. LoL.

This is my last "out-of-town" trip of the summer. *SIGH. Summer flew by for sure.

No Day, But Today

I saw RENT today at The Paramount. Loved it! Absolutely loved it! I'm glad that I splurged on having a front row seat for this one. Hence, the tears during certain scenes. HeHe.

What did I take away from the show? The words, "No day, but today." I must admit, I'm no risk taker, something I inherited from my mom. I need to start learning that I should do the things that I can do today instead of putting them off for another day. When you're stuck at work for 40 hours/week, life does seem to pass you by and it's no easy feat to "live life to the fullest." Let me work on that.

And since today is one of those "let me ponder about my life" days, here's something that I got from my cousin's blog:

"Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

My response to that is, "Pilipinas, game ka na ba?" HeHe.

Il Mare

Il Mare is now one of my top three favorite movies (While You Were Sleeping and Sana Maulit Muli are the other two). It is so good! How good is it? I watched it three times in two days! The first time I watched it, I was crying my little Vaness-like eyes out. Grabe, tinamaan talaga ako for many reasons, but instead of divulging those reasons on here, let me just post some unforgettable quotes (or maybe they're forgettable kaya kinailangan kong isulat?). Anyway, I left out a few that got me pretty bad (and will just give all my secrets away, hahaha), but here's the majority of them:

• "I thought love meant eternal bliss." (Charing!)
  
• "We're tormented because love goes on...not because it goes away." (Loved this one!)
  
• "I cannot accept my father's death nor my love for him."
  
• "There are three things a person cannot hide...coughing, poverty, and love. The harder one tries to hide them, the more they rise to the surface." (Ows?)
  
• "Love is a self-inflicted pain." (Ahh, this quote must be from a martyr. LoL.)
  
• "Love comes to us in different ways..." (Sige na nga, LoL.)
  
• "True love comes from true independence." (I haven't heard the term "true love" in ages. As you get older, I think you truly become less idealistic.)
  
• "Are you ready to trust me?" (For you, Lee Jung-jae, I will! LoL.)

Anyway, for those who have seen the movie, I have one question. They said that the house was designed for his true love. So, Sung-hyun designed the house for Eun-joo eventhough they have never met, and he considered her his true love eventhough they have never met? Puwede ba yon?! If that's the case, ang haba ng hair ni girl ha! LoL.

Falling Bricks

Mr. Twin: my goodness...go out and have fun..and if you meet a guy along the way great get to know him..it will only take you a few minutes to know since YOU know What YOU are looking for
MiNA: kaya nga, march 2005 nga
MiNA: geez
Mr. Twin: whatever
Mr. Twin: you know your defense mechanism will be up and running again when you meet any guy
MiNA: lol. u sound like kuya greg
MiNA: he used the term "defense mechanism" on me last week too
Mr. Twin: well its obvious with you thats why

You know, for being my twin, he sure isn't nice. LoL. Anyway, for the past two weeks, a few guys have been telling me "the truth." Terms like "defense mechanism" and "baggages" have been used by errrbody to describe my communication patterns towards guys. First of all, I didn't know I was *that* transparent. Could've saved me some explanations every year, you know. LoL.

I got to thinking though, would I still act the same when I'm in Manila? Would my defense mechanism be at work again when I'm finally there? This is a serious matter, folks. Would I call Christian Bautista "Kuya Christian" when I finally see him? LoL. Granted, I didn't call Totop Suzara "Kuya" when I met him in 2002. HeHe.

After thinking it over, let me sing you a few lines, HeHe:

Through the fire
To the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you
I’d gladly risk it all
Through the fire
Through whatever, come what may
For a chance at loving you
I’d take it all the way
Right down to the wire
Even through the fire

Kuya Greg told me that when love hits me, it will feel like a ton of bricks. My reply is that those bricks will be from my wall because it will crumble down for the right guy. The emphasis here is "for the right guy." The crumbling wall and the right guy go hand-in-hand, okay? One will not happen without the other. 'Tis I know is true. LoL. So after much reflection today (while vacuuming the dust bunnies under my bed, hahaha), I have realized that I didn't really need to cry last night (stupid Kuya Greg and his Dr. Phil ways) because indeed, I will be fine as long as I know what I want. And I do. Promise. =D

P.S. Let me know though if you guys know of a "right guy" with a bulldozer just to be sure. HaHa!

Facing Faces

I got a relaxation facial today. I loved it! Who knew that having someone play with your face as if it were a bowl of cookie dough was so nice! LoL. It de-stressed me a bit also, which I badly needed. I vow to do this once every three months. This is one kikay thing that I can definitely handle...I don't know about my wallet's threshold though. HeHe.

Sayaw Kikay

I really think God made a mistake when he made me a girl. Hindi talaga kaya ng powers ko to be kikay. LoL.

The area in between my two eyebrows has been breaking out lately. Mind you, I barely got pimples when I was a teenager, so I'm blaming threading for my latest facial blemishes. I decided to find an alternative just for that area in between my brows: Sally Hansen Extra Strength Creme Hair Bleach. Upon reading the instructions, I found out that one shouldn't put the solution near your eyes (duh, it's bleach!). So much for my being clever about a vanity issue.

Anyway, because I'm now a "professional," complete with business cards to hand out to people, I decided that maybe it's time to learn how to look "grown up" during those important business functions. So, today, I went to Gene Juarez to learn how to put make-up on. First of all, I couldn't believe that there are mothers out there who take their little 12-year-olds in these upscale salons for a haircut. It's the same disbelief I have when I see 16-year-olds buying underwear at Victoria's Secret. I just don't get it, folks. Anyway, first question of make-up artist: "So, are you in high school? College?" My reply: "Umm, I'm done with college and working full-time." Make-up artist: "You look so young!" Does society ever say, "You look so old!" to someone? Then why do I have to deal with such comments?! ::brushing a chip off my shoulder::

So for the next hour, she applied make-up on me. She introduced me to the different brushes, eyeshadows, lipsticks, lipliners, mascaras, blushes, stuff that are really foreign to me. I'm sure I had a confused expression on my face the entire time. HeHe. When she was all done, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought: women spend this much time in the morning to put this much crap on their face?! Although, I must say, having foundation is quite inviting for obvious reasons. Regardless, I have decided that make-up is really not for me. I'm too plain jane for all that. Instead, I vow to lose weight instead and drink lots of water in order to be beautiful naturally...starting September 1st. LoL. I need to fall in love with proteins first so give me a week to do the unthinkable. ;P

Afterwards, I mistakenly ventured into Wal-Mart. I should've known better than to go in there alone. What was I thinking?! Is it just me or do all of the ghetto people in the world congregate there? Such a scary place, I swear. Anyway, I have been very conscious of my feet lately due to capoeira so I wanted to give them a pedicure. How much money did I spend buying everything that I need? $35! That's just for pedicure stuff! What more if I had decided to buy make-up?!

So kids, the big lesson of the day is...I'm an amazona, hear me roar? LoL.

Bumming Around

From Aug. 23-31, I don't have work because union rules state that I get a "one week" break from being a temporary to a permanent employee. How did I spend my first day of freedom? Ate, slept, laid on the couch. How I missed it so!

Beso

Thank God, it's Friday. It has been a long week and I'm glad it's finished!

The week started out well, though. I don't think I ever had the chance to tell you about my capoeira instructor. He's hot. He looks pretty much like Dancing King, but manlier. HeHe. So for the past six weeks, I've been secretly drooling in class. Anyway, as if to give me something to remember him by, on Monday-the last class in my "trial series"-he greeted me in an authentic Brazilian fashion: a kiss on the cheek plus a hug. *SIGH. The stubble. The warmth. The rock solid body. The scent of fresh meat. HaHa. Ang saya-saya! LoL. And as if that greeting made all the difference, I was able to finally understand him when he talked in class. Amazing what lust can do to your senses. HeHe.

Sisterhood

She lives in FL. I live in WA.
She has sisters. I have brothers.
She is morena. I am Casper. (At least friendly!)
She prefers Hero. I prefer Joseph. (Bantay Bata, please!)
She drives a black car. I drive a white car.
She loves Vic. I love Ken. (Papa!)
She went public. I went private.
She is Korina. I am Kris. (Laos na tandem natin!)
She is pusong bato. I am pusong mamon.

Twin, Happy Twenty-Something Birthday! May you still have a rooftop over your head after Charley's recent visit. Grabe kang mag-birthday, bagyo ang handa! Anyway, the first time I saw your Kermit-themed layout back in the day, I knew you were special. Not because you were green, but because you had written about TFC (I was impressed with your public declaration of your jologs status! HaHa!). Since then, you've heard it all: Pinas 2002, college, past and present kalaguyos (from Apolo to Haciendero to Ken), my bodily functions (HaHa!), college grad depression, battle of the bulge, and of course, our favorite topic of them all, family drama. I just want to take the time to say thanks for listening (kahit ba palagi kang Dory about the details) and most especially, for being on the same wavelength as me. It's not an easy feat afterall. HaHa! So Sis, don't ever change, good luck sa career, God bless, and I will be here for you like Gary V.

Note: Happy Birthday also to my other twin, Mayie, na hindi na ako pinapansin dahil may lovelife na. Happy Birthday also to Papa JP (See you in 20 years! LoL. Hi Ate Mel!), Ben Affleck, and Cogie Domingo. LoL.

Left Behind

I'm glad that there's still at least one person out there who knows where I came from, what happened to me since then, and has made the effort throughout the years "to be there." Zara, thanks! Thanks for always remembering. Ikaw lang parati ang nagpapaiyak sa akin during this time of the year. However, this year is different, thanks to this hirit:

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang iba iwiwish ko for you except na magkakulay na rin ang iyong lovelife. Yearly ko yata iwiniwish sa'yo yon...pero di bale, I'm sure when he finally arrives, he's definitely gonna be worth the wait.

You know it's been a long time when your friends who supposedly have your back have started "talking like the relatives." LoL. My thoughts regarding this matter: I'm not traumatized anymore. I'm still scared, but not traumatized. I'm open to the idea, but I'm definitely taking little, teenie, tiny babysteps to get to where I need to be. Think the tortoise instead of the hare, k? HeHe.

I do feel na napagiiwanan na ako ng mga kilala ko. They're having kids, getting married...definitely in the "settling down" department. Me, on the other hand, well, I'm here, folks. LoL. I'm not going to lie and say I don't need/want anyone. I do, but there are restrictions to that. HeHe.

What a Concept

My brother and sister-in-law celebrated their wedding anniversary yesterday with a barbecue. Six years. Six long years. My gawd, I can't even imagine. Exactly how do these married people do it...how do they put up with eachother's crap day in and day out? LoL.

My favorite moment yesterday:
Me: "Ganda Girl, why are you so happy?"
Ganda Girl: "Because you're here, Ninang!"

Hold on, let me get a tissue again. HeHe.

It's Nice to Be Happy...Sha La La La

I guess it's true: when one segment of your life is going well, another segment decides to turn crappy. It was such a miserable week.

Because of union laws, I needed to go through the whole application process to make my position permanent. "It is just formality." Fine. You gotta do what you gotta do afterall. Last week, I had my interview. It went well and the administrative skills test afterwards was not even a problem (Who knew my typing speed is 70 wpm?! LoL). I thought I had everything under control. By the end of the day, my boss told me that there was going to be a second interview because there were three top candidates. Excuse me?! What?! Fine, let me do the second interview.

The second interview was this past Thursday. Instead of three candidates, it was just myself and this other man. Fine. I went first. No problems at all. It was a comfortable setting with four women whom I've been working with or spoken with before. I left to go back to the office afterwards while the other man was interviewed. An hour later, Co-worker L called and asked me to give the phone to Snoopy. After taking the call, she said she needed to meet them at Starbucks. Clearly, I was the topic of the conversation. I knew something was definitely up and I have a feeling what it was about. Blame it on PMS, but I wanted to cry my eyes out when I was all alone in the office.

They came back in the office half an hour later and my boss asked me to come into her office. I got the job, but with caveats:

"It was a tough decision." Tough decision?! Why would it be a tough decision when I've already spent 4.5 months with you guys and you've seen my work ethic?!

"The other candidate was just more excited. He was willing to see a project from beginning to end." What?! So, I'm more Kwame than Bill (Think The Apprentice here). Sue me for being prim and proper all the time. After 4.5 months, you're going to tell me that I'm not willing to see a project from beginning to end?! I'm the one who does all the dirty work in the office! I stuff envelopes until my hands have become the grossest things in the world (Even I wouldn't hold hands with myself nowadays). I'm the one who overhauled the contacts list database that no one wanted to do! I've created all the in-house marketing collateral! Update this, call this, upload this, proofread this, edit this...I've done everything you've all asked me to do! And yet, you don't call these finishing a project from beginning to end?!

My thoughts:

• I've proven my worth in the last 4.5 months. I can't believe that you were willing to take a chance on a guy based on his words rather than my actions.


• I hate disloyalty. If you ended up picking the other candidate, I would've been unemployed...again. If I was a slacker, if I didn't perform well, fine, let me go. But the fact is, I was busting my ass eventhough I was getting paid way less than I deserved.


• I've been underestimated. I hate it.

Is the real world really like this? I felt so horrible that I even contemplated about going back to school (The AA graphic design degree is still calling me, folks). I felt so horrible that I wanted to buy a plane ticket to Manila eventhough I promised I wouldn't do such a thing for seven more months. I felt so horrible that I thought it's better to be unemployed than be around people who don't really think highly of me.

*SIGH. Thanks to Kuya Greg and Pen for the counseling. On a light-hearted note, so if work has turned really crappy, which segment of my life should I expect to turn out really well soon? >=P

Friends...How Many of Us Really Have Them

Why is it that when two people go out on a date and things don't work out, they don't become friends? Yet, there are guys out there that tell me (and I quote!), "Have you ever considered that not all guys have hidden motives...?" Where the hell are all these guys that don't mind hearing "Let's just be friends"? Show me!

Snoopy quit Match.com on Friday. She went out on at least 5 dates in the last month or so, all of which didn't produce Prince Charming. However, I thought it would've been nice if she at least came up with 5 new guy friends after all that trouble. But of course, that wasn't the case. *SIGH. Do people really have a lot of friends already that they don't bother making new ones when they're in their 20s (and instead, all efforts are diverted to finding Ms. Right)? Blas...phe...my!