Well obviously if the subject keeps coming up, then the topic is unsettled. I have no peace of mind until I get it over with. I really think I need to get my butt back to Manila. This is how I see things will play out: 1) I go over there and have the time of my life. 2) I will then eventually get frustrated about everything like corruption, pollution, traffic, etc. 3) I will go back to Seattle and will finally be content about living here. Sounds reasonable, yes?
You risk big, you gain big. I need to do this. I think I'll forever "feel" miserable for missing out on things and I'll forever wonder what could've been if I don't go back while I'm young. I don't want to be a gurang by the time I set foot in the country again and by the look of things, it will be like that if I keep thinking "Sayang naman." Every event is a learning opportunity afterall.
My one-year commitment at Job #2 will be over next month so I won't have to worry about breaking any promises regarding that one. After talking to my Job #2 boss, Yash, and Pen, I have decided that it's best if I finish one year at Job #1. I need to secure that resume entry before I do anything "stupid" and "selfish." So, we're looking at March 2005. As Yash pointed out, I can't take on new commitments between now and March 2005, or else I'll keep pushing back the date. Fine, no more guy stalking. Fine, no more new jobs. Fine with me.
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