Request for Proposal

Instead of quoting Mariah Carey's "Through the Rain," let me just babble...

God and I are having another one of those father-daughter fights. He wants it (whatever it is) to go His way while I was hoping to go my way. The thing is God is not a straightforward Man. He can't just tell me what He wants me to do. He just pushes me to go one way, then puts up these barriers that forces me to take detours. He probably thinks I'm still this overachieving high school student who goes after everything and anything. Like my own parents, God has no clue that I've grown up (says the calendar).

Well God, I'm not in high school anymore (not even in college anymore!): I'm not worried about getting 4.0s anymore; I'm not on the dance team anymore; I'm not volunteering anymore; I'm not clubbing on the weekends anymore. All I care about these days is having a career. And once I have that, I can buy a house and live peacefully on my own. And after I have that, maybe, just maybe, I can lure a non-metrosexual, uber nice, God-fearing (or Buddha-fearing), faithful, and responsible young man into my life. I just want those three things...one-at-a-time. Are those too much to ask? Sure, the last one may be troublesome, but surely, a career is quite do-able, don't you think?

I mean, if you want me to be a nun, tell me (but first give me four days with Ken, Rae Won, Sang Woo, and Jun-Ho...make it five with Christian). If you want me to be a stay-at-home wife/mom, fine. But please provide me a husband. If those aren't what you want for me, then are we agreeing that having a career now is the way to go? Sounds reasonable, yes?

I'm going to stop hiding under the covers and pick myself up tomorrow. Many people have counseled me and offered to take me out to lunch. They've done their work. I'm choosing to do my part by putting everything behind me. Now, I'm asking for your help. Lead me to where You want me to go. Here are some of my ideas:

1. Stay in Seattle; work at the hospital full-time; take evening classes for the graphic design certificate
2. Teach English in Korea (there's a deadline for this one)
3. Find a marketing/advertising job outside of Washington
4. Go to Manila; take a long break; be a bum in order to figure out my life
5. Career change (please tell me you don't want me to be a nurse)

I have options. Yes, I do, but I'd hate to do one of those and find myself out in the streets again after two months. My ego can handle a lot of bruises, but my threshold for pain is a different story. Help me. (And yes, I promise I won't be bitter anymore about not seeing Tokyo...and staying at a 5-star hotel...and seeing Sanrio Puroland...and getting a Tokyo Starbucks mug...and oogling at Japanese boys....okay, okay, no more bitterness).