A foreword:
I know Kuya Heinz.
Kuya Heinz knows Homer.
Homer knows Mike.
Mike knows Mark.
(And yes, we're such geeks for all having websites. HaHa!)
So back in November, when we were in Bohol, Mike said to me, "I have a friend who just moved to Seattle." My first thought was, "Eh?" For crying out loud, no one from the Philippines ever moves to Seattle. Okay, there's a huge population of Filipinos in Seattle, but no one I know ever moves to Seattle!
Today, I stumbled upon Mark's website and sure enough, Mike wasn't lying to me (not like I thought you were lying, Mike, but hey, like I said, no one ever moves to Seattle so I couldn't fathom the idea!). Looking at Mark's pictures truly made me miss Seattle even more. And it was quirky to read about his experience moving to "Seattle" while I compare it to how life has been for me here in Manila. While everything is new for Mark and KC in Seattle, everything he has written were all "old school" to me. I'm sure they would say the same thing about my "Manila stories."
For those who don't know, self-doubt has been larger than life for me these days. I went to an interview this past week and was told (yet again), "With your GPA and experience, why are you looking for work in Manila?!" While exchanging money at SM later that day, I met a man from New Jersey and he said, "Dito ka naghahanap ng trabaho?!" I've always been a good person (*ahem) who always did the right thing, so having the disapproval of EVERYONE I know about working here has been tough.
It's been so tough this past week that I ended up buying a copy of The Alchemist to get my spirits up again. Reading it for the second time didn't help me ease the emotional turmoil I've been going through, though.
Am I really that stupid to try to want to work in Manila? Is it worth it? Am I strong enough? Can I prove everyone wrong? Will I get the last laugh? Is education really priceless? Life is already hard, why do I want to make it harder? Can I find what I'm looking for in Seattle instead? How much do I want it? Do people really die not having done what they've always wanted to do? Does my family really know what's best for me? Do I really know what's best for me? Am I going to be a better person at the end of it all? Are people really happy taking the "safe" route? Has someone "succeeded" doing what I'm doing?
Those are just SOME of the questions in my head. I thought I knew the answers before, but I'm not so sure anymore.
Friday, February 3, 2006
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
A Little Thing Called Love
After three failed attempts, I finally got to see "Little Manhattan" yesterday at Gateway. I was smiling the whole time...okay, except for when I shed a tear at one part of the movie...and when I was laughing very hard when the boy was crying about "2 1/2 weeks!"
It may be just G-rated, but it's so true that regardless how old (or young) we are, we still think about love the same way and we go through the same emotions. I was giggling throughout the movie because I keep remembering my past experiences. *SIGH. It was a feel good movie indeed.
And speaking of love, congrats again to Kuya Heinz and Ate Ambie! I got really happy when I got the text message of the good news. Kuya has this thing of not texting back right away (and sometimes, never texting back at all!) and I always joke that it's because he and Ate are "busy." Well, I'm glad to know that the hard work has paid off! ;P
Also, in a few days, I will be an aunt to a new pamangkin! Ganda Girl is going to have a sibling soon! Another mini-me will be produced! It's my quiet attempt to rule over the world. ;P
Hay, everyone is spitting out kids this year.
It may be just G-rated, but it's so true that regardless how old (or young) we are, we still think about love the same way and we go through the same emotions. I was giggling throughout the movie because I keep remembering my past experiences. *SIGH. It was a feel good movie indeed.
And speaking of love, congrats again to Kuya Heinz and Ate Ambie! I got really happy when I got the text message of the good news. Kuya has this thing of not texting back right away (and sometimes, never texting back at all!) and I always joke that it's because he and Ate are "busy." Well, I'm glad to know that the hard work has paid off! ;P
Also, in a few days, I will be an aunt to a new pamangkin! Ganda Girl is going to have a sibling soon! Another mini-me will be produced! It's my quiet attempt to rule over the world. ;P
Hay, everyone is spitting out kids this year.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
On Time
What I don't like about e-mails? They're easy to dispose of. Unlike snail mails which you physically have a copy of them and you choose immediately whether to toss them or keep them, e-mails are easy to delete because it's like you never "had" them if having is defined by actually holding them in your two hands.
Anyway, so Tet mentioned to me before that she prints out the e-mails that she wants to save forever. Okay, why didn't I think of that? LoL. In the last two years alone, I have received some memorable e-mails from people and I thought about printing them out. So, I went back to my old e-mail account, checked the Inbox, and was devastated to find out that I only had a couple of those e-mails saved...until I checked the Sent folder. Voila! They're all there!
Yes, reading them again brought smiles to my face. Some of them are prophetic even. HaHa! So here's something for the masses; it's the same thing that I was trying to explain to someone, but couldn't quite make my point (author's name withheld because I've never asked permission to publish this. HaHa!):
start of e-mail --
July 28, 2004
Well, maybe you're just picky? High standards? Nothing wrong with that really. I'm like that. But sometimes you'll only get to know for sure if the person is the right one when you're already in a relationship. So instead of not even giving it a try, like what I used to do, I started taking things as they come without too much expectations and seeing how it goes from there.
(paragraph deleted)
What works for us is that we are open to changing our ways and we've got the kiss-and-make-up part down pat, kasi we do it so many times, hehe.
So, she's not everything I wanted, and I'm not everything she wanted, but we're committed to becoming better persons for each other. She makes me want to be a better man (naks).
How did I know she was the right person for me? Well, I had peace in my heart (I prayed if I'm making the right decision). Unlike other past relationships that started with a bang and ended with a whimper, my love for her just kept growing.
And we are alike in so many ways. We enjoy each other's company. We like to do stuff together. She's my best friend really. And we complement each other as well in other ways.
I'll never learn these things if at the start pa lang I find something wrong with her and not give it a chance.
I used to think there is one person for me in the universe. But I don't subscribe to that anymore. Maybe for some, they do find their perfect match. But for most people, it takes some more effort to make things better. We belong to that category. It's such a cliche but it's all about being the right person, not finding "the one".
-- end of e-mail
Yihee! LoL. But I don't think that's the same advice that I get from that person whenever we talk in real life. Sinisi pa! HaHa!
All of that is the original e-mail except for the paragraph that had incriminating evidence, I mean, personal information. What was written there was the time it took for the two people to get together. What did I learn from that? It does take time and it does take patience. And that's what I don't have. :: violins playing ::
Though it was hurtful at the time, someone told me that I can't possibly expect guys to take me seriously here in Manila only because I'm like a ticking timebomb. For guys who are usually commitment phobes (ows?), I'm like the biggest risk there is, too big to take, because my stay here is limited according to this person. So that's what was on my mind since day one...okay, day nine since that was when my first date here in Manila happened (not wanting to waste time nga, di ba? HaHa!).
Crap, I think I veered off from my point. Time and patience! The best advice about relationships that I've gotten from someone lately is: "The people whose relationships last are people who WORK for their relationships. It doesn't just happen because two people are 'perfect for each other.'"
So, take your time. Take it slow (*SIGH 2007. HaHa!). Huwag sabik (there's already a population problem in this country!). Simply enjoy the ride because someone is happy enough that you're there. Yihee! HeHe.
Anyway, so Tet mentioned to me before that she prints out the e-mails that she wants to save forever. Okay, why didn't I think of that? LoL. In the last two years alone, I have received some memorable e-mails from people and I thought about printing them out. So, I went back to my old e-mail account, checked the Inbox, and was devastated to find out that I only had a couple of those e-mails saved...until I checked the Sent folder. Voila! They're all there!
Yes, reading them again brought smiles to my face. Some of them are prophetic even. HaHa! So here's something for the masses; it's the same thing that I was trying to explain to someone, but couldn't quite make my point (author's name withheld because I've never asked permission to publish this. HaHa!):
start of e-mail --
July 28, 2004
Well, maybe you're just picky? High standards? Nothing wrong with that really. I'm like that. But sometimes you'll only get to know for sure if the person is the right one when you're already in a relationship. So instead of not even giving it a try, like what I used to do, I started taking things as they come without too much expectations and seeing how it goes from there.
(paragraph deleted)
What works for us is that we are open to changing our ways and we've got the kiss-and-make-up part down pat, kasi we do it so many times, hehe.
So, she's not everything I wanted, and I'm not everything she wanted, but we're committed to becoming better persons for each other. She makes me want to be a better man (naks).
How did I know she was the right person for me? Well, I had peace in my heart (I prayed if I'm making the right decision). Unlike other past relationships that started with a bang and ended with a whimper, my love for her just kept growing.
And we are alike in so many ways. We enjoy each other's company. We like to do stuff together. She's my best friend really. And we complement each other as well in other ways.
I'll never learn these things if at the start pa lang I find something wrong with her and not give it a chance.
I used to think there is one person for me in the universe. But I don't subscribe to that anymore. Maybe for some, they do find their perfect match. But for most people, it takes some more effort to make things better. We belong to that category. It's such a cliche but it's all about being the right person, not finding "the one".
-- end of e-mail
Yihee! LoL. But I don't think that's the same advice that I get from that person whenever we talk in real life. Sinisi pa! HaHa!
All of that is the original e-mail except for the paragraph that had incriminating evidence, I mean, personal information. What was written there was the time it took for the two people to get together. What did I learn from that? It does take time and it does take patience. And that's what I don't have. :: violins playing ::
Though it was hurtful at the time, someone told me that I can't possibly expect guys to take me seriously here in Manila only because I'm like a ticking timebomb. For guys who are usually commitment phobes (ows?), I'm like the biggest risk there is, too big to take, because my stay here is limited according to this person. So that's what was on my mind since day one...okay, day nine since that was when my first date here in Manila happened (not wanting to waste time nga, di ba? HaHa!).
Crap, I think I veered off from my point. Time and patience! The best advice about relationships that I've gotten from someone lately is: "The people whose relationships last are people who WORK for their relationships. It doesn't just happen because two people are 'perfect for each other.'"
So, take your time. Take it slow (*SIGH 2007. HaHa!). Huwag sabik (there's already a population problem in this country!). Simply enjoy the ride because someone is happy enough that you're there. Yihee! HeHe.
Monday, January 30, 2006
At Your Best
Okay, so the last month was a little sad and depressing. So much so that a MALE visitor actually e-mailed me to ask if I was okay. And yes, that is a big deal since most of the time, it's the females who come running when my world starts turning blue. :) It’s also a shame that I didn't get a chance to tell you guys about my second trip to Cebu, Sinulog, and Bisaya Boys because of my sad state. Boo!
Anyway, I'm back to my usual self. Afterall, my favorite month of the year is almost here! Promise, no sarcasm there! Why is it my favorite month? As someone pointed it out to me before, "Your website visitors comment a lot when the topic is about love." HeHe!
While I was sending my resumes out today, I was concurrently (ooh, big word!) dishing love advice on YM (See? I told you guys I was back to my usual self!). The topic was about being hurt, disappointed, and other variations of that sort.
I've always said that dating is like job hunting: you'll have to go through many "No"s to get to the one "Yes." So the more "No"s you encounter, the closer you are to finally arriving to the "Yes." My point? Don't ever stop looking (or in my case, don't ever stop waiting to be found. HaHa!). It's okay! Sure, it hurts like hell because you had high hopes that maybe you found someone worth your while, but he/she turned out to be the opposite. Add the fact that you don't have an immediate replacement to fill the void. However, it shouldn't be enough to warrant you to stop dead in your tracks. Afterall, if you do stop, how will you ever get to where you want to be? Naks! (I really need to listen to my own advice more often. HeHe!)
And speaking of disappointments, it's not because women are demanding. You know why our standards get higher and higher as time passes by? It’s because of you, the male species. As I told Zara a week ago, "Girl, I think I need to be more specific when I ask God for a lovelife. It's not enough to ask for a 'Pogi, tall, smart guy' because sometimes, He forgets that along with those said qualities, the guy also needs to be not gay, or selfish, or forgetful, or (insert other adjectives that I've whined about before). Sometimes, I'm like, "Um, God, did You not know that I wanted a straight guy?" LoL. Tet and I have long concluded that God is a funny Man. :)
Anyway, where was I...oh yes, so it's not because it's our nature to change boys to men (*ahem); It's because the past guys that we dealt with made our lives a living hell and we don't want to put up with the same crap again (ooh, hear the bitterness).
If it's any consolation, we believe in evolution: As we get older, us women hope that the next guy we encounter has evolved to a better man than the last guy we spent time with. So don't blame us for being "demanding" as you like to put it; blame the last boy that taught us to be a little bit wiser.
Anyway, I'm back to my usual self. Afterall, my favorite month of the year is almost here! Promise, no sarcasm there! Why is it my favorite month? As someone pointed it out to me before, "Your website visitors comment a lot when the topic is about love." HeHe!
While I was sending my resumes out today, I was concurrently (ooh, big word!) dishing love advice on YM (See? I told you guys I was back to my usual self!). The topic was about being hurt, disappointed, and other variations of that sort.
I've always said that dating is like job hunting: you'll have to go through many "No"s to get to the one "Yes." So the more "No"s you encounter, the closer you are to finally arriving to the "Yes." My point? Don't ever stop looking (or in my case, don't ever stop waiting to be found. HaHa!). It's okay! Sure, it hurts like hell because you had high hopes that maybe you found someone worth your while, but he/she turned out to be the opposite. Add the fact that you don't have an immediate replacement to fill the void. However, it shouldn't be enough to warrant you to stop dead in your tracks. Afterall, if you do stop, how will you ever get to where you want to be? Naks! (I really need to listen to my own advice more often. HeHe!)
And speaking of disappointments, it's not because women are demanding. You know why our standards get higher and higher as time passes by? It’s because of you, the male species. As I told Zara a week ago, "Girl, I think I need to be more specific when I ask God for a lovelife. It's not enough to ask for a 'Pogi, tall, smart guy' because sometimes, He forgets that along with those said qualities, the guy also needs to be not gay, or selfish, or forgetful, or (insert other adjectives that I've whined about before). Sometimes, I'm like, "Um, God, did You not know that I wanted a straight guy?" LoL. Tet and I have long concluded that God is a funny Man. :)
Anyway, where was I...oh yes, so it's not because it's our nature to change boys to men (*ahem); It's because the past guys that we dealt with made our lives a living hell and we don't want to put up with the same crap again (ooh, hear the bitterness).
If it's any consolation, we believe in evolution: As we get older, us women hope that the next guy we encounter has evolved to a better man than the last guy we spent time with. So don't blame us for being "demanding" as you like to put it; blame the last boy that taught us to be a little bit wiser.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Believe in Love After Love
Okay, so I got to admit: I was a bit irritated with this boy a few months ago for being a torpe. And if any of you were able to pick up on it, he (along with other torpes of this world, of course) was my inspiration for writing the Menace to Society post back in September.
But indeed, good things come to those who wait. And as someone texted me today said, "There's a saying that anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. Perhaps God made it difficult for you because once He gives it to you, it is something worth your while." Okay, okay, so she wasn't referring to my lovelife, but quite applicable, yes? HaHa!
Anyway, everybody loves a great lovestory and I'm glad that Jeff had a great ending (or is it beginning?) to his. And to this day, I still can't believe that a website visitor tried to play matchmaker on us both before. Easily one of the "Oh my God" moments of this website. ;P
But indeed, good things come to those who wait. And as someone texted me today said, "There's a saying that anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. Perhaps God made it difficult for you because once He gives it to you, it is something worth your while." Okay, okay, so she wasn't referring to my lovelife, but quite applicable, yes? HaHa!
Anyway, everybody loves a great lovestory and I'm glad that Jeff had a great ending (or is it beginning?) to his. And to this day, I still can't believe that a website visitor tried to play matchmaker on us both before. Easily one of the "Oh my God" moments of this website. ;P
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