Had Enough

I just finished watching "And I Love You So".

Yun na nga ang problema e. Ate at a restaurant alone? Done that. Ate at a restaurant alone on a Sunday in Manila (worst self-inflicted torture)? Done that. Watched a movie alone? Done that. Attended church alone? Done that. Grocery shopped alone? Done that. Traveled alone? Done that.

While many people have never done any of those things alone because they've always had a significant other to spend such activities with, I'm the total opposite. Been there, done that. Sawang-sawa na ako. Kung ano man ang kinailangan kong matutunan about having all this time to myself, siguro naman e may natutunan na ako kahit papaano. Puwede stop na? Afterall, having too much of anything is bad, di ba?

Siguro yun na lang ang wish ko on my upcoming 30th birthday: to be able to love again (again daw o!). Sana dumating na siya...dito sa Seattle. Ayokong long distance. Ayokong pumunta pa ng Maynila. Ayokong ma-meet siya somewhere in the world and would have to part after a period of time. Walang hadlang. Walang kontrabida. Walang variables to make excuses for. Gusto ko for keeps na.

Soulmate

After watching Soulmate, I've been toying with the idea that maybe The One is just walking down the street as I turned the corner or he's sitting in the bus that just passed by mine.

For the past couple of months, C has been telling me that she has seen this cute Asian guy walking from the gym to my building. I keep asking her to find out which department he works for because finding a guy in 61 floors is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

On Monday, as I was perusing through other departments' intranet to get inspiration for our own department's intranet overhaul, I spotted a picture of a guy who made me think that there is indeed hope for a single woman in this city. Today, I forwarded the URL to C and she verified that the guy in the picture is the guy that she has been telling me about. After a training across the street, I walked back to my building and as I was walking in an elevator, he was walking out of it. Did God hear my prayers? Is this fate? ;P

Now, I'm sure our soulmates are predetermined, but just this once, can I pick who I want my soulmate to be? I now have a candidate in mind! LoL.

I'm Here

I got my DVD version of Got 2 Believe today (can finally get rid of that VHS version from 2002!) and watched it right away to commemorate the beginning of "-ber Months." For me, that movie is the best at displaying how it feels to be a single woman.

Part that gets me each time? When Toni goes "Ayoko na" and starts crying after her series of failed blind dates. *SIGH. And one too many times, like Toni, I've also had my share of conversations with friends consisting of questions like "Di ba, maganda naman ako?" and "Di ba, mabait naman ako?" (if you look hard enough in the archives, you'll find a chat transcript!).

I usually joke about all this single blessedness on here, but I don't find the subject funny anymore (uy, serious today!). It's frustrating and sad all at the same time. While some women, who shall remain nameless (*ahem), are quite open to accepting that they may be single forever, I feel otherwise.

I don't want to be single forever. I've had my years of enjoying all this singleness and independence; I'd like to think that I've lived those years to the fullest. Puwede stop na? I'm ready to love and be loved (yihee!).

Wala bang naghahanap sa akin? Yung gwapo, may pinagaralan, at may patutunguhan ang buhay, hindi ba nya ako hinahanap? Ano ba ang pinagkakaabalahan nya ngayon at hindi nya ako makita? LoL. While everyone I know seems to be married or attached, I'd like to think na may natitira pa diyan na ka-edad ko na single din katulad ko (o di ba, I'm optimistic pa!). Nasaan ka? Bakit palaging late ang mga ka-date ko?! ;P

Visualize to Materialize

During mass on Sunday, I was looking at the all-Filipino choir and kept thinking, "Man, at least one of those people has to know someone who's single and pogi" (Yes, these are the kinds of thoughts that run through my head while inside God's house). And since I know God can hear me loud and clear, I kept envisioning the ideal guy (looks-wise) and this is the only "message" that I tried sending to God:

God, that's the package I'm looking for. I know none of my former boylets look like that and I'm assuming it's because I was never that specific to you. Well, it's 2009 so let's get this right once for all. LoL.

To everyone else, let me know if you know anyone who looks like that in real life. God and I need all the help we can get (Yes, it's a worldwide, heaven-and-earth kind of effort now. LoL. Kung wala pa talaga, wala na talaga. HeHe!)

This Love

This week's to do list, in no particular order:

• facial or 1-hour massage
• window shopping
• trip planning
• bake mango oatmeal cookies
• spend quality time with Johnny Bravia (the HDTV)

(Walang Ben & Jerry sa listahan kasi ginawa ko na last Friday. HaHa!)

The best thing about life...is loving yourself...during a Hallmark-created holiday. No angst, just all love. Kung may pogi akong kilala na single, baka feeling sawi pa ako this week, but since I don't, it's business as usual. Happy na ako na maganda ako. ;P

Cruel World

High: Tennis Thursdays at work started today for the Spring Quarter. The instructor was hooooot...but married of course. I also realized that sweating profusely in front of a hot guy isn't a good thing. But hey, he's married. And I'm digging this morning exercise idea. Too bad it's only once a week.

Low: I got hit on by a 23-year-old during happy hour today. This, people, is another reason why I'm single.

Kasal, Kasal Ko, Kasal Nila

I spent the last three hours or so just watching Filipino wedding videos on YouTube, thanks to Raissa's and Pen's bad influence. The result? Naiyak ako...naiyak ako dahil hindi ganyang ka-gwapo ang mga naging ka-date ko sa Pilipinas in the almost two years that I was there.

At kung may hihirit ng "Bakit, maganda ka ba?" Aba, oo, maganda ako, magandang maganda. HaHa!

On a serious note, I still haven't been praying to God about "that person." Super tigas ng ulo, di ba? I actually have this touching explanation regarding this which I've told Ate Gemma one time at work. But explanations and excuses aside, I guess it's true that you really have to believe that you, yourself, deserve a great husband in order for it to come true. And I think that's what I need to work on more than anything else. Uy, finally, naka-emote na ulit about this subject. HaHa!

Sana lang that by the time that I do get married, eh meron pa rin akong kakilala na single pa rin to be my Maid of Honor. HeHe! Nauunahan na talaga ng lahat eh! I even saw the wedding video of a guy who I went out on a date with in Pinas. Hello?! Kung ka-batch ko kayong single, you're not allowed to get married yet! ;P

Poking Fun

I've always been against meeting strangers on social networking sites so whenever someone sends a message or asks to be added as my friend, I always just ignore him. But a couple of months ago while researching at work, I read this one article that made me re-think about my antipatika ways.

The gist of it was that you do have to add these "potential friends". If you're just going to stick with just having your real-life friends in your network, then you're back to square one: you already know the people you know. You don't need a third-party site to communicate with them; you can just e-mail them yourself. And if you're unhappy about the people that you already know (insert laugh here), then here's your chance to meet others to replace them (insert bigger laugh here). Talagang napa-hmmm ako duon.

So despite my little epiphany of two months ago, I was still ignoring those stranger-sters. What can I say, old habits die hard...at hindi sila pogi. HaHa! However, the other night, someone sent a smile...at may potential ang bata ha. I was telling Raissa last night that I don't look for geeks, they find me. HaHa! Anyway, so regardless of how dorky I think the "Send a Smile" option is on Friendster, what the hell are you supposed to do when someone does send you a smile? I swear, I'm sitting here baffled about this 21st century phenomenon of poking people online and sending smiles. It's like when guys used to send @->->-- back in the day. Crap, I think I just dated myself with that little tidbit. HaHa!

Motherly Advice on Love

Mom: Alam mo, huwag kang maghanap ng mayaman. Mas okay pa ang mahihirap dahil marunong mag-adjust sa buhay.
Me: Poor?!
Mom: Hindi naman mahirap na mahirap.

Ahh, love advice from mother dearest on a Friday night. Miraculously, I do agree with her line of thinking. There are a whole lot of guys in the Philippines who were born with a golden spoon in their mouth that they don't know "The Essentials" (like cleaning the bathroom or frying a friggen egg). It was always a turn-off for me. Sadly, I think ChristianBautista falls under this category. There goes my only hope. Tsk! Someone give him Toilet Duck and a toilet brush, pronto!

Preying

Do you know what I would do if I were a single, tall, good-looking, funny, heterosexual, Asian male who can write well? Well, I'll tell you: I would put up a blog.

Seriously. I could just imagine how many hits (and stalkers) his website would get. Imagine if he watched Korean dramas, too! Imagine that. Oh wait, nay on the last part because he might be g@y if he was really into those. HaHa!

This useless post is brought to you by my dire need of a real-life crush. Hmm, if I looked like KimRaeWon, LeeDongWook, and LeeJiHoon, where would I hang out in Seattle? Think, Mina, think!

The Next Bachelorette

My Manila bachelorette days are over: I moved out of the condo today.

Goodbye 2-minute rides to the mall. Goodbye 10 minutes to get to work. Goodbye to food deliveries. Goodbye to peeing with the bathroom door open. Good things don't last indeed.

It was one whole year of adulthood; no shame that I learned how to feed myself, to put a roof over my head, to take myself to the doctor when I'm sick, to have an opinion on the best toilet bowl cleaner (Toilet Duck, hands down!) just now at the still-very-young age of *ahem mid-20s. It's never too late to learn something new afterall.

Consequently, I'm back in San Mateo, Rizal. I'm going to go nuts if I now meet a relatively good-looking guy and he's from the city. Can we say "wrong timing"? Go ahead, say it, Kuya Heinz! LoL.

Promdi

I watched ChristianBautista at The Podium today. I thought I was over the boy, but apparently not. As he sang song after song, all I kept saying to myself was, "I really gotta get me a promdi boy." HaHa!

I Was Not Alone This Year

I'm Good, I'm Good Without You

Someone who tried to set me up before told me today,

"Mina, halika, may sasabihin ako sa 'yo. Si M may girlfriend na." She had a sad tone in her voice, as well as a sad look in her eyes. I've seen that same look from someone else before and it made me realize na ang dami na ngang nagdaan:

Zara has tried to set me up.
Tet has tried to set me up.
Raissa has tried to set me up.
Kuya Heinz has tried to set me up.
St. Scho girls have tried to set me up.
Salve has tried to set me up.
Jimbo has tried to set me up.
Lilian has tried to set me up.

Yup, that's in chronological order. HaHa! Out of those eight boys, five of them are now with a girlfriend whom they can call their own while I'm still single as a slice of cheese. Am I sad, bitter, jealous? Hardly. As long as other people are happy, I'm happy for them. Promise.

Actually, for the first time in a long while, my heart is actually intact. It's not aching; it's not broken. I have peace in my heart and I'm loving the feeling! As in!

Maybe that comes from praying to God about my lovelife. For 2007, I am asking Him to give me one more chance in this area of my life. They say the third time is the charm, so maybe thiz iz it. Can you hear the optimism, can you? HeHe.

So to all the pogi, straight, funny, tall, smart, responsible, and caring men out there: watch out; God is looking for you this year. HaHa!

satisfACTION

Last night, a couple of my co-workers took me out for dinner and cake. My birthday. Their treat. Gotta love these kinds of people. HaHa!

Anyway, Ate Jen asked, "So, what's your birthday wish?" Other people have asked the same question, but I've never given them a straight answer.

These days, I don't believe in wishing for things anymore. It's all about doing. The biggest lesson I learned this past year is that if you want something, do it; work hard for it; make it happen. The status of our lives is truly up to us. Not happy about who you're with or what you have? Do something about it. Don't just wish for things to turn out well; make it turn out well.

And it's the same principle that I'm currently applying to my *cough lovelife. It's all about taking action. Don't just sit idle and wait for a guy to trip in front of you; actually trip the guy! Kidding! HaHa! In my case, it's more of "broadening the search" than "shortening the list." Regardless, both include taking action.

So this year, no birthday wishes, but birthday goals instead. And what are they?

The last year was more for establishing myself: getting a job, getting a roof over my head, getting a core group of friends. This year is more of experiencing what it's truly like living here in Manila day-to-day. I need to put back all these little things in my life to make it a well-rounded one. Mainly,

1. Volunteering
My last stint was back in January 2000; six whole years ago! Although my job now allows me to give back to the world, it's still different to give time to a worthy cause in my spare time. I just hope that I can manage getting around to where I need to be without my Baby (my car).

2. Improving my health
I don't think I'll go back to hiphop dancing while in this country (in the words of an Assumptionista, "It's so mahal e!"), but I'm going to try a new sport for exercise. I plan to do it every morning before I go to work. The problem? I love sleep more than exercise in the morning so I need some major peptalk before September rolls around. HeHe.

3. Traveling
I don't know why I want to see everything now. But I do know that while I'm here on this side of the world, I might as well take advantage of the close proximity to the major cities/countries that I want to see. The time is now. No kids to feed, no mortgages to pay. The time is really now.

So, there you have it. I know what you're thinking already. The birthday greetings via text and e-mail all had subtle hints regarding what everyone wishes for me this year and now it's not even one of my goals. Oh my. Let me explain briefly.

If he's truly the guy for me, I figured I'll meet him along the way. I'll meet him while I'm doing the goals that I have listed above. That's my mentality for the year. We'll try it out and see what I come up with. My heart is wiped clean and I'm smarter this year; I know what I want and I know how to trip. No worries; just happy thoughts for the coming year.

Third Wheelin'

I love my cousin J and his girlfriend. I love them because we get along well. I love them because when I needed people to go with to a party last year, they went with me. I love them because whenever I tell them my hurty-hurt feelings, I'm 100% sure that they won't tell any of the family members. I love them because they take me along with them on their dates.

Well, I love being their third wheel...until last night. They totally set me up! After texting J that I was bored out of my mind in the condo, he told me to get ready because we were going to a children's party at El Pueblo. Thinking nothing of it, I dressed up and went with them (Long live second childhoods!).

When we got there, "he" was there - "he" being J's girlfriend's boss a.k.a. the guy they had mentioned to me before, but wasn't too excited about. Eek. If you're going to set me up, the #1 rule is: tell me first (the #2 rule is don't tell the guy so that he won't take it personal if I decide to be my usual antipatika self. HeHe!).

Anyway, I refused to entertain the idea of dating "him." I know my cousin and his girlfriend want me to be happy, but I think they're more interested in the free food that comes with dating this guy (an owner of a restaurant chain in the metropolis) that's why they keep insisting that I should give him a chance. HaHa!

While hanging out at The Podium after the party, my cousin joked that I should make a scrapbook of all the guys I've dated. It will give me something to do daw at the condo and something to keep me laughing when I'm feeling lonely. Ang sama!

*SIGH. It will be July next week already. Then, August...and we all know what my goal is for August. Hindi yata kakayanin ang deadline. Pucha, I know I said "special someone" pero puwede hindi pinsan ko and his girlfriend ang date ko sa birthday ko? God, are you listening? Listen, please. LoL.

Destiny's Child

Tadhana ko na yata to be with geeks.

I went to a Robinsons mall to use the wi-fi. Papa the Powerbook couldn't find the wi-fi signal (like what happened at Galleria a couple of months ago) so I had to ask the barista. The barista then asked one of the "regular customers" to help me out. Not bad looking if you ask me. The problem? Pucha naman o, I didn't bother to do my hair before I left the condo. As in, I combed my hair lang, then off I went.

Throughout the whole entire "IT support" session, I was wondering kung ilang strands ng buhok ko ang nakatayo. Grr. But then again, if I didn't look decent, he wouldn't take the time to help me out (we couldn't figure out the problem for a good 30 minutes). If I didn't look decent, he wouldn't say goodbye when he left the coffee shop.

Lesson learned? Wala akong mahahanap na boylet kung sa condo lang ako all day on the weekends. Lesson learned? Huwag na akong magpakabit ng phone line sa condo. Lesson learned? P65 for an iced tea is worth it. Lesson learned? May bagong tambayan na ako sa mall. HaHa!

Konti na lang, destiny will do its magic (Wishing! And yes, I was checking out his laptop, too. Sige na nga, aaminin ko na: geek nga ako. The truth hurts! LoL).

MiNAism: On Second Dates

Tet: Eh yun naman pala eh, he asked you for a second date!
Me: Why wouldn't he? I'm pretty eh.

That, my friends, is the kind of self-confidence we are working with. HaHa! Pretty, but single. What kind of horrible world are we living in?! ;P

To continue the humor of it all, the relatives and I went to Tagaytay last weekend. Of course, my lovelife was the center of all conversations (Oo, pinaguusapan kahit wala nga!). My Tita from Chicago said, "Min, kung puwede lang ngang bilhin ang lalake, bibilhan kita para magkaroon ka!" Ouch! I'm thinking that my relatives have forgotten that I have feelings. There was also a comment about my "soul-searching" in the Philippines: that the "soul" in soul-searching is a boyfriend. Gosh, this family is too darn witty talaga when it comes to making fun of my single state. HeHe.

Anyway, what I'm recently realizing is that you really can't have everything in a guy. I'm trying to decide whether I want a pogi guy pero tarantado naman or a not-so-pogi guy pero who will treat me well. Like I said, it's a horrible world we are living in. ;P

Women's Weapon

You know what I realized? A girl can get away with a lot when she's wearing a skirt. Note to self: wear a skirt on your next date. ;D

Stalker Mode On

I had this huge plan to write a very emotional post...

But I flipped to Studio 23 late last night and found out that...

...Kennevic Asuncion has a show on Sundays: Badminton Xtreme!

Why didn't anyone tell me this?! It was a Kennevic-filled day yesterday with the Philippine Open 2006 mixed doubles game and Badminton Xtreme show plus the corny Rush commercial that he's also in.

*SIGH. I got a new crush and it's exactly the kind of shallow distraction that I need right now. "How did you know...I needed someone like you in my life..." HaHa!