Color Me Embarrassed

I attended the New Employee Reception today and I didn't know it would turn into a lovefest.

After introducing myself to a room full of people, one of my lovely program directors repeated her praise out loud, "And she's done a couple of great improvements already!"

I smiled, said thank you, and thought that was that. But wait, there's more.

Further down, an associate dean introduced himself to the room and said, "And (Mina), my wife has nothing, but great things to say about you." (His wife was a former supervisor of mine.)

Oh...my...goodness. But heck, this definitely beats being told that you're doing horribly. I'm just a bit embarrassed and a little scared that I've built up people's expectations of me...whether they would be working with me on projects or otherwise.

You Go, Me!

The nameplate outside of my office door now has my name and title on it. My business cards are now printed with the correct e-mail address and are ready to be distributed. I have made friends with two other Asian girls at work so I feel less alienated these days (though I don't get to talk to them very often since I have my own officespace). I attended the New Employee Orientation yesterday, along with all the new employees for the school year, and have managed to meet a few more people. Last Friday, one of the program directors (I have 3 to please, in addition to my supervisor and the Dean) sent me an e-mail saying, "Just wanted to take a minute to say how happy we are to have you. You’ve already had many excellent suggestions for improvement." In a nutshell, the last eight weeks have been productive and steady.

And no, this is not the time when I will say that a lovelife would be a nice addition. I don't need one. I'm good. And I mean it, dammit. HaHa!

Ambitious

I was watching Inside the Actor's Studio with DaveChappelle a few weeks ago (a rerun episode) and he said something that totally resonated with me: "It seemed like the richer I got, the less happy I was and I wasn't sure if I wanted that."

And it's not necessarily the amount of money that resonated with me, but everything that went with the money like the job title...and the stress...and how you have less time for everything else.

Recently, I thought about getting my MBA and then I stopped myself. Do I really want to get into those upper-level management jobs someday? The answer was no.

I don't know if I've become less ambitious with these kinds of thoughts in my head, but I guess working with/around people who are in those higher-up positions have made me turn away from such goals. These are people who barely saw their families, go to work at 4AM, lost their hair from all the stress, etc. Eww, I say.

I do wonder if people who do no-brainer jobs are the happiest people around. Someone enlighten me.

Damage Control

As I get older, it seems like my social life gets worse and worse each year. I blame it on a number of factors, but ultimately, I have to blame myself.

Realizing that I don't want to be 30 and lonely in the near future, I took some action: I joined a professional organization.

Tonight, I attended my first meeting with them which was also a gala planning meeting. The result? I not only have an 8-5 job, but I now have a 5-8 "job" as well. I'm a co-chair for the gala and let's just say that it's not going to be a walk in the park in the next two months. Crap, crap, crap!

But being the ever optimist person that I am (pashaw!), this is a great networking opportunity for my career and social life. At least I'll be surrounded with people who are nearer to my age range (and are the same color as me)...and yes, somehow, I see a little glimmer of light for my lovelife, as well. People, start praying. Now. HaHa!

My Money's Worth

You know, it's hard to miss my life in Manila when I get a paycheck for my first four days at the new job and it roughly equaled to one month's salary in Manila. I can now definitely say that I was livin' la vida loca back then.

Back to School

During my salary negotiation (if you can even call it that), I didn't push for a higher salary because I learned that I would be able to take graphic design classes for free. It's a job perk that adds up to a lot of money (tax-free, too!). What I didn't know was that I would be allowed to take a class during the day!

So today, instead of walking into my office, I walked into a classroom upstairs instead. After four years, I am back to being a student! My Fridays this month will solely be devoted to getting down and durrrrty with Photoshop CS2. Yay!

But all that good stuff come with a catch. It turns out that I'm not the Marketing Coordinator, but the Marketing Manager. HR got confused about my e-mail signature (I wrote that I was the Marketing Coordinator) that they had to call my direct supervisor to confirm my job title. My supervisor told me that I'm more than a coordinator. Eek! So, being a manager, guess who I have to report to on a regular basis? The Dean of the college!

What the heck did I get myself into?! Am I ready for this?! I'll get a bigger picture next week after my 45-minute meeting with The Big D (ooh, I smell a new blog character!) to discuss my job responsibilities. Hopefully, I'll be able to come out alive to write another entry.

Job Status: Employed

When I picture God in my head, the image I get is Him standing on a cloud, looking down on me and laughing His butt off. I really think He's just having a ball watching me react to things He throws at me.

Remember on July 2 when I wrote about a job that I didn't get? No? Go ahead, check the archives to refresh your memory. After I wrote that, I spent the next three weeks wallowing in my misery. I took the rejection pretty hard.

Well, two days ago, I got a call. I was asked what my employment status was and if I was still interested in that job. It turned out that the person they chose on July 2 did not work out for them. Quit playing games with my heart, God. Quit playing games with my heart! HaHa!

Today, I signed all the papers that made me the Marketing Coordinator. Exactly two years ago today, I left for Manila and it now seems like I put my life on hold for those two years and now I'm back to where I left off. Whatever I left behind then, I got it all back today plus more: a Marketing job, my own office (no Dilbert cubicles!), my own desktop computer with a printer, my own laptop, and my own phone extension.

This is yet another great example of God teaching me about patience and trust in Him. It's either that or He's trying to be the Last Comic Standing in my life.

The Agony of Defeat

It used to be so easy: you grab an application, fill it out, turn it in, and get hired on the spot. No heartbreaks, only instant gratification.

These days, you go through "phases" all drawn out to select the "best" candidate. You turn in a resume with a cover letter, go to numerous interviews, take an aptitude test, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick you because you did your best and you want the job bad, really bad.

I didn't get the job. The job that I had been salivating over since the end of May. The job that made me study Excel for two days just to make sure I remember how to do everything on a spreadsheet (I still don't get Pivot Tables). The job that would've allowed me to get a graphic design certificate for pennies. *SIGH.

Well, one of the things I learned how to do in the last two years is to live by the motto, "If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be." The hiring manager also told me that it was a hard decision and it was so close that you could just flip a coin. I knew I did well on every single aspect and there were no regrets on my part. I take comfort in all of those, but it just stings a little since I had my heart set on this job.

Chin up, dear self, and move on. Go, fight, win on the next one.

(Is it just me or my career life is suddenly mirroring my love life? This is soooo not good. HaHa!)

Money-Making in Manila

Well, this is going to be harder than I thought: parting ways with my "officemates" in Manila.

I spent some 3 hours today chatting with them over Skype. As soon as I signed on, dinumog na ako. It's nice to have fans, I tell you. ;P It's even nicer to know that they all miss me. But then again, how can you not miss the loudest girl in the office? HaHa! John from India was also online, too, so my Asia team was complete over Skype.

I'm actually worried about going back to working in the U.S. again, knowing that I won't have a family atmosphere at the workplace anymore. I don't even remember what it's like to eat lunch alone anymore. But as Ate Jen reminded me, "Your American instincts will resurface again. Don't worry." HaHa!

I miss the morning daily devotions. I miss everyone's personal problems (good stuff! haha!). I miss the turons for merienda. I miss fastfood lunches with Lilian and Super Bowl dinners when we're stressed. I miss the Starbucks City Mug pasalubongs from faraway places (Lebanon, ooooh!). But like I told Bestfriend B, I don't miss my "poor life" in Manila. HaHa!

The next time I work in Manila, it's going to be on expat salary, dammit. ;P

It Pays to Leave

It's my last day at work.

I should be sad, but...

...I got my last paycheck with severance pay, paid unused sick leaves, and paid unused vacation leaves. Cha-ching!

Now, I can afford my plane ticket back to Seattle! HeHe!

Note to self: 2nd best thing about working in the Philippines (next to thirteenth-month pay) is severance pay!

Softer than a Softie

Big girls don’t cry. I guess that makes me a friggen little girl then.

My See You Later party was held today at work. I thought I would make it without shedding a tear, but I should’ve known better: tears fell continuously. Dammit.

Not Renewing

Yesterday, I finally got the courage to tell my boss that I'm not re-newing my contract.

April 2 will be my last day at W0rld Visi0n in the Ortigas office.

I'm sure my mom is now counting the days until I return home so that she can snap that umbilical cord back into place. ;P

Let It Snow

It's snowing in our office!

And I'm going to cry if I lose the "Decorate Your Cubicle" contest! (Pictures to come.)

Just Got Paid

13th-month pay rocks!

Live in Bangkok

Blogging to you from Bangkok. I've been here since Sunday for a three-day meeting with 105 people around the world.

Notable "alipin" moments:

- bringing a printer and laptop to my hotel room on Tuesday night to print worksheets overnight
- waking up at 5:30AM on Thursday to cut out country flags in time for the 8AM activity.

Though this was the biggest event I've organized, I was less stressed out than normal. The hotel staff were wonderful and had the kind of customer service that I expect from a hotel (Yes, I'm still traumatized by the meeting at Holiday Inn Galleria in May. Bad trip talaga yung hotel na yun.).

Yesterday, was the last day of the meeting and the Global Implementation Team was recognized by Boss J infront of everyone with matching speech pa about me. Blessing daw ako to have joined WV. I never thought about it, but it's true: every single document for this program have gone through my hands. All the manuals that get shipped around the world, tarpauline banners that get hung on the walls, right down to nametags and table tents during meetings such as these...sa akin galing lahat yun. My gulay. Siguro masochista ako, but masarap ang feeling kahit pahirapan talaga.

A couple of days ago, I ended up having breakfast by myself since I had to wake up early. I was just staring out the window while eating and really, it still amazes me where I end up every year. I guess November is truly my travel month. In 2004, I was in Disney World with Pen. In 2005, I was in Cebu and Bohol. And this year, I'm in Bangkok. I'm excited to find out where I'll be next year. :)

Purpose Driven Life

I just got back from a week-long staff retreat in Nasugbu, Batangas. Everyone who works for W0rld Visi0n in the whole entire Philippines was there (Yup, Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao). It has been a complaint of mine that in our office, there's not a papa in sight so I was truly looking forward to this retreat to a) get away from the city (and the trauma that came with the Milenyo typhoon) and b) see some eye candy to get my hopes up again that one can find love in the workplace. Little did I know that b) would be the other way around. By the second day, Kuya Orly already expressed his surprise to me that a bunch of guys from the National Office were asking about me (nagbilang pa siya ng daliri sa kamay to make sure he got the right count ha). My lovely friends would probably be rejoicing right now to find out about this, but hold your horses. We're back to the same issue again: it's not about who or how many gets attracted to me, it's about who takes some action (Yabang a, feeling madaming naaattract sa kanya. HaHa!).

But enought about my angts...

This annual staff retreat is about thanksgiving, praying, and resting for the upcoming fiscal year. An audiovisual presentation was shown on the second day about the accomplishments of last year. For the corporate world, they would probably flash sales figures and profit margins and give awards to people who made the most sales. At W0rld Visi0n, they flash pictures of children and the communities they have helped. They pray to thank and give glory to the one responsible for everything that has happened (No Employees of the Year in this organization, folks). The organization's target each year is to increase the number of children who gets sponsored and thus, gets to go to school. I can't explain how that gives me a sense of pride as well as honor to be part of this organization. I'm truly thankful that God led me here, that He heard the desires of my heart. I'm where I've always wanted to be.

But with joy comes pain, as our seminars reminded us. This career path is not a bed of roses. It's hard to find comfort in the fact that I know I'm not getting what I know I deserve (Yes, I'm greedy and selfish). It's hard to make peace with the fact that my future is not secure despite trying to give that security to others. It's hard to balance reality and idealism. It's hard to keep going on when you know that people you love the most don't want the same thing for you and you keep wondering everyday if they're right.

The underlying question that I want to know the answer to is "Is it really worth it?," but the answer lies in the end when you can't do anything about your future anymore and you don't know if you're right person to find out the answer to that question.

Praying. Truly, that's what I need to do more of this coming fiscal year.

Argh!

I'm currently at work...alone.

No one told me that we didn't have work today because of the typhoon.

(Insert all the profanities in the world here.)

Career Year

Every time I'm in Robinson's Galleria, I always have this tendency to break out into a little smile whenever I see/pass the Figaro there. For so many months last year, I sat in the same corner at Figaro, wasting time away (with Papa, with Kuya Heinz, with Jimbo...ahhh, memories!). Funny how life is like one whole year later. Nowadays, I wish I could just go to Figaro in the middle of the day and bum around (which I did do today, but I had to leave after an hour since it was only for lunch).

But there is a silver lining. Earlier in the day, Big Boss J showed the organizational chart for the office, and there it was: my name. Right under one of the manager's box is my own little box! I wasn't too far down the food chain that I couldn't be acknowledged and at the same time, I was significant enough to be mentioned. I have never seen my name in an org chart before so I couldn't help, but take a little pride in that. Yes, another example of how shallow my happiness is. HaHa!

With a business card and an org chart box, I wonder what's next. It's definitely a career year this year.

A step Up

I just got home after spending the entire day at the W0rld Visi0n Philippine National Office. The program that I handle was implemented in Nicaragua last month; this month, it is the Philippines' turn. After this, 52 more countries all over the world will have their own individual implementations.

After three months on the job, I'm finally seeing the fruits of my labor. I'm seeing where all my hours went. I'm realizing what you can get from a person's blood, sweat, and tears. I'm realizing the impact it has in the organization, in the ministry, in the world.

How many people can actually say that they're making an impact in the world, like the whole ENTIRE world? That what they're making/organizing will be distributed globally? That their program will change the organization that they work for? That millions of children will have a chance at a better future because of what you did? As one of the staff members said, "You're creating a legacy." Naks! HeHe.

I had a couple of interviews at P&G before and even they don't implement such big things. Their marketing strategies are created in Singapore and are meant for regional reach only. Me? Worldwide, baby.

On Friday, Homer reminded me the ironic things about this position. I remember him telling me back in November about a project he was bidding for and how he got the lead. I remember him e-mailing me the samples that he created for the project. I remember him texting me back in December when he didn't get the project. What were all the creative requirements for? They were all for this project: my project. The project name that he tried to create a brand for is now part of my job title. The guy from church who gave him the lead is now my boss. The samples he created and showed me before via e-mail are now accessible in the database that I manage. Freaky, right? Si God talaga, o.

Anyway, remember last year when I said I wanted to make a difference in the world? I guess this is it; God gave me what I wanted again. I actually found a personal mission far greater than my quest for a lovelife. HaHa!

And that's why I can't seem to let go eventhough the temptation is so great. As the months progress, I pray for strength to continue. I pray for my parents' continuous understanding. I pray na wala nang errors/headaches/heartbreaks concerning my responsibilities. I pray na hindi umiral yung gusto ko and just believe in God using me as an instrument (banal na banal na talaga! HaHa!). I pray for a lovelife kasi sabi ng iba diyan I should pray for it daw...wait, this is not related to my job...sige, I pray that the vacancy in the office will be filled by a single, pogi guy so that overtime won't be so bad. HaHa! I pray that the stress levels will be manageable soon because my cheeks are getting rounder again and that is soooo not good! I pray that there will be time for much needed rest so that I can continue taking one step at a time.

Not Feeling It

My only complaint in life (the second time for such a complaint in less than two months) right now is that I have to work again on a holiday. Grr!

I had to work during Labor Day weekend and now, I have to work on Pasig Day...an official holiday! And this is with no extra pay whatsoever. Grr!

Serving God and humanity is so hard talaga. Naks! HaHa!