Missing You

It’s been a month, people. I don’t know if I should congratulate myself for making it this far or I should start cursing myself for still sticking around.

Reality has kicked in, though. Nowadays, I have to beg people to take time out of their usual (and normal!) lives to hang out with me. Flashback to a month ago, I had to pull out my planner to schedule people’s invitations. Simply put, people don’t think I’m going away anymore. LoL.

I miss the family (but not the drama). I miss having a car. I miss the convenience and cleanliness of Seattle. I miss my DVD collection. I miss biatching to Pen each and every day. I miss having a position in a familial hierarchy. I miss only taking half an hour max to get to places. I miss seeing different ethnicities (whenever I see white people at the malls here, I start smiling!). I miss Target and Costco. I miss not being criticized about my clothes, weight, quietness, my whole being. I miss VH1. I miss the comfortable weather. I miss doing everything myself. I miss the public library. I miss hip-hop dance classes. I miss not being needy and KSP. I miss not feeling poor and not having to budget my money. I miss being content with just being at home. I miss conversations with strangers. I miss not having my cellphone tied to my hip. I miss buying stuff on eBay. I miss snail mails. I miss not being eaten by mosquitoes whenever I’m wearing shorts. I miss being confused because I’m finally here to make things happen.

I’m now more scared than confused these days. I’m scared that I only have a few places to apply to and when I have exhausted those options, there’s nothing else to do, but move on and accept that things were not meant to be. I’m scared that what I want isn’t what God wants for me (yet again).

I kind of gave myself this timeline of one more month to do the unthinkable-one month to be a Kapamilya, Kapuso, or something else. I don’t think I have the heart to stay unemployed for six full months in this country, nor do I have the heart to say goodbye to the nice people that I’ve met here after six months.

So to those who are willing to lend a helping hand (or know someone who can), here are the job sectors I’m aiming for:

- media (tv stations, music companies, magazines)
- advertising agency
- marketing position in a multi-national company

Any contacts or job leads would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to Kuya Heinz, Bajeng, Mayie, Alessa, and Pon who have done their share already.